Magpies
by Niu Shiy-Ue
Summary: One for sorrow, two for joy. The House of Feanor lives and dies by the rhyme.


**Magpies**

 **One for Sorrow**

He's been on borrowed time ever since Fingon fell and so he falls too. It's been pain and more pain, watching his brothers die and his people fail over and over again. There can be nothing worse than this. So in the end he surrenders to despair and the flames, welcoming the peace of death and the end of his regrets.

 _He's wrong. The ocean of regrets from before now seems like a drop when he realizes his last brother, the one who was always there, the one he loved best of all his family has chosen not to follow him for the first time._

 **Two for Joy**

It's the worst physical pain he's ever felt, and he would scream with it if he could spare the breath. As it is, he rubs some salve over the burn, pulls his glove back on and keeps running. The earth is shattering below his feet and he cannot afford to stay here. Twin boys, they deserve better than this, better than being abandoned by their final parental figure. They were never enough to make anyone stay, but they were enough to bring him back.

 _He's half-mad with pain by the time they find him, but still alive. His recovery is long, measured in decades, but it's more than anyone else has ever given them and it's enough._

 **Three for a Girl**

Later they will say he fell for her beauty, but that was actually a very small part of it at all. She's not a girl, not a woman, not even a princess. Rather she's a force of nature, bound up in elven flesh and cloaked in her midnight hair, and he cannot understand how that human is so blind. She could be the ugliest orc to walk Arda, and she would still take his breath away. If only she would see, if only she would join them. It would be worth everything he and his brothers had done. If only she would redeem them.

 _She never does see. And when his blade slides through the back of her son, he realizes that he never deserved to be redeemed._

 **Four for a Boy**

He laughs when Dior stabs him. He's been enough battles, he knows the wound is fatal. But the fool dies faster than he does, victim to his brother's blade. They may not reclaim the Silmaril this day, but neither would Dior hold it any longer. His mother had been worthy of respect, this fool was lower than the chieftains who had betrayed them in the Battle of Unnumbered Tears. They had gambled for the sake of better lives for their people; Thingol's heir had held onto stolen property for no reason greater than pride.

 _In the Halls of Mandos, his first words are to his slayer. "I told you so." And he is not alone in the chastisement. When he finally leaves the Halls, his supporters are a legion._

 **Five for Silver**

When he gets to their rooms he finds his son packing. "You won't need that." he seethes. "You're not coming with us."

"Of course I am-"

"NO YOU ARE NOT!" He tosses his son's bags back onto the bed and takes a few deep breaths. "What you are going to do is go out there and denounce us." Tyelpe opens his mouth and he cuts him off before he can begin. "I'll write your speech for you."

The Oath was going to kill them all, he would be damned to the Void before it kills his son too.

 _In the Halls Orodeth asks if his son's rejections was worth what he and his brother had done. "Was Nargothrond worth Turin? My son still lives!" Orodeth is silent._

 **Six for Gold**

It's irony that ultimately leads to his death. He's fighting his way up the tower, trying to reach his brother's side when he sees it. A flash of gold falling down, in the hands of a black-haired, white-gowned woman. The distraction is enough, causing him to miss his parry and receive his opponent's sword to the throat.

" _It was a really stupid way to die." he tells his twin ruefully. "I grew up playing with Father's Silmarilli, and one flash out the window, and I forget what I'm doing."_

" _There are worse ways."_

 **Seven for a Secret Never to be Told**

He doesn't think he can do this. All throughout the trip they'd been battling Ossë, but every time he closes his eyes he can still see the blood, hear the screams. He doesn't smell the salt in the air, he smells death. There's no rest to be had, not even when they reach the far shore. Everyone else is falling over exhausted on the sand, but if he stops moving he'll start screaming and he doesn't think he'll stop. As the hours pass and his father and older brother argue, he makes a decision. While everyone else is distracted he sneaks back onto the smallest of the ships. He doesn't care what everyone else does, he is going back.

" _I'm sorry. If I had known I would never have burnt the ships. If I could have burnt in your place, I would have." These are Fëanaro's first words when he comes to the Hall. Not even to address Mandos, or his father or ask for his mother._

 _He stops walking away and considers, then turns around. "You did burn." It's not forgiveness, not yet, but he would put as much effort into rebuilding the relationship with his father as his father did._

 **Eight for a Wish**

He grew up on wishes. First, he wished to be as good a smith as his father and grandfather were. Then he wished that the Valar from Manwë to Melkor had never interfered with his family's lives. He wished his father had allowed him to stay with him. He wished they weren't all dead (he actually got that one, when his cousins revealed they'd been hiding his uncle during Maglor's long convalescence). He moved beyond wishing and started acting to make his wishes real. He wished to learn new techniques from other elves, other races. He wished to make a kingdom where all people would mix freely. But most of all, he wished he had gone with his first instinct and stabbed 'Annatar' in the gut when he first saw him.

 _He's the first in his family after Miriel to stay in the Gardens of Lorien. It doesn't help. He doesn't want to be told it wasn't his fault; he wants to do something to repent. But the only thing allowed in the Gardens is passive contemplation._

 **Nine for a Kiss**

He's not sure what they first expected him to do when he reached the Halls, but apologizing to his son for burning him to death was apparently no it. Nor did he seek out either of his parents. (He was later disappointed to find his mother had already left the Halls.) He also failed to live up to their expectations by not screaming at Mandos. He did ask for explanation for the Doom. And was surprised to receive it. "I did not cause these disasters. I only speak of what I see, and I did not see that until you defied Manwë." the god clarified. They spoke often as time went on. They did not always agree, but these conversations opened up new perspectives for both of them. The Halls of Mandos became a more compassionate place, and he in turn started to understand how people could have such differing points of view, but not be enemies. It was enough that by the time his brother (half, but hardly his fault) arrives, he was able to give a sincere apology. It took longer for Nolofinwë to accept it, but by the time the younger had left the Halls, they were good friends.

 _One change he made to the Halls was suggesting that some of the souls would benefit from a less ethereal experience. While some found the cessation of pain and trauma to be a relief and allowed them to think clearly, an equal number were too disoriented and disconnected to interact with other souls or with the Maia. He himself found himself longing for the sensation of touch. Of all the sensations he missed the one he longed for the most was his wife's kiss._

 **Ten for a Time of Joyous Bliss**

It's not that she didn't want to go with them. But she and her husband had discussed this before. When (not if) they went, one of them would have to stay behind to take care of the duties and interests they had in Aman. It hadn't been certain it would be her, but then Melkor came, and she knew that there was no possibility that he would be the one to stay. So she was the one who returned to hold Formenos.

And hold it she did. Through the displeasure of some of the Valar, through the attacks of the Teleri, the scorn of the Vanyar, and the claims of other Noldor she held it.

(She has a soft spot for Arafinwë. He was one of the first to claim Formenos, but he was the only one to go away after a single conversation. And supported her rule there from then on.)

They all had gone. But she had faith.

 _And her faith was rewarded. First not-so-little Tyelpe, unable to heal in the Gardens of Healing, with a desperation for activity that she could understand. Then Kano, reluctantly dragged back to Aman by his adopted son. He never expected forgiveness, which helped make it easier to give it. Then Caranthir was released and he came with an army. Then her other sons. And finally, her husband._

 _She did, however, give him the beating of his second life before telling him she forgave him._


End file.
